Funny Horse Racing Names

Ben H / 14 October 2022

Last Updated on 22 April 2024

Funny Horse Racing Names

Over the years, the racing industry has had some incredibly unique and funny horse names. This has not only brought a little bit of humour to the racing industry but also, at times, left the commentators scratching their heads, wondering how these names slipped through the gates.

Buttocks 

Buttocks was a gelding that raced in the 1970s; Buttocks was appropriately named, given his large behind.

Two In The Pink

Even though it’s something Jimmy Carr popularised, the name has also been called home by a racing announcer as a winner. In early 2013, Ralph Smith-trained horse was victorious at Kempton Park.

Maythehorsebewithu

This horse did have a lot of power. Following his debut, in which he was a neck ahead, he finished fifth in the Melbourne Cup, the race that stops a nation. However, we can also tell you that Darth Vader is not Darth Vader’s father; it was Zabeel, a top-class New Zealand sire.

Ha Ha Ha

It appears that the last laugh was actually on those who gave him his name because it is such a difficult word to pronounce. He came in last twice and was brought up once in six races. Nonetheless, he continues onwards and upwards!

Big Tits

You’d expect the horse to prance out of the stalls confidently with a name like that. But, instead, there was little activity on the track, with the French-trained filly finishing unplaced in all six races in which it competed.

Hoof Hearted

You’ll get it if you say it fast. The South African-based horse, which made its debut in ten races, showed little track ability. This time, the one who smelled it was the one that finished last or second to last.

Passing Wind

Passing Wind, a chronic flatulist, had two very impressive wins. So naturally, you wouldn’t want to be in his path when he was done. He won by a distance of seven lengths on both of his victories.

Waikikamukau

As a New Zealand horse, the Australian racing industry passed this off as a Native New Zealand name. However, they didn’t realise that the commentator would be chanting, “why kick a moo cow”.

Geespot

This mare’s name is quite humorous, but it is actually well-chosen based on the lineage. The sire is ‘Pursuit of Love’, and the mare is ‘My Discovery’. You have to applaud the creativity behind naming her. It’s genius.

Wear The Fox Hat

Repeating this as quickly as a racing commentator, you’ll soon find that the owners definitely snuck one past the judges when naming this horse. Luckily, the people who approve horse names didn’t have to resort to this method. If they had, we would have missed out on their hilarious commentaries!

Mary Hinge

Make sure you’re not making a mistake. Otherwise, you’ll get an odd look from anybody you’re with. This mare was trained by Julie Cecil, the former wife of Sir Henry Cecil, and went on to win a Listed event at Haydock Park in 1994.

AARRRRRRR

On September 19, this horse was given a very humorous name. Despite being difficult for announcers, this animal is the only one of its kind able to sort of pronounce and say his own name – an impressive feat!

Mywifenosevrything / Thewifedoesntknow

In 2010, these two horses ran against each other in a race that would forever link them. On August 22, they met again at Monmouth Park in New Jersey.

The two lined up in perfect sync around the far turn, producing one of the most unusual stretch duels in racing history. Mywifenosevrything beat Thewifedoesntknow by a stretch in an exciting call.

Onoitsmymothernlaw

Not much is known about the link between the horse and the mother-in-law, but this name is one of the most creative and funny Horse names to date.

Onoitsmymothernlaw had only four career starts, one of which was a win at Saratoga Race Course. The commentator said, “Onoitsmymothernlaw… won’t go away,” as the horse crossed the finish line first.

Notacatbutallama

The owners of the horse borrowed its name from a game of Taboo and found it quite humorous. The easily- memorable, 18-character-long name immediately caught the Jockey Club’s attention. However, the horse was much more than just a good laugh.

On top of that, the champion’s sire was notacatbutallama, a winner of two Grade 3 races as a three-year-old. He ended his career with over $800,000 in earnings and a pair of Grade 3 victories as a three-year-old.

Panty Raid

Panty Raid, an American Thoroughbred racehorse, was born on March 8, 2004. She won five of ten career starts and amassed more than one million dollars in winnings.

Panty Raid is best known for her stirring victory in the Black-Eyed Susan Stakes, a Grade II $200,000 race on May 19, 2007.

My Tent Or Yours

My Tent or Yours is a horse owned by JP McManus and was bred in Ireland but trained in Britain.

Frisky No More

Frisky Business was the name of this horse’s mother, according to legend.

Bofa Deez Nuts

Bofa Deez Nuts is a gelding quarter horse who ran at Will Rogers Downs and Remington Park (both located in Oklahoma). He won for the first time in June 2018.

Fiftyshadesofhay

From a popular book, Fiftyshadesofhay was foaled in 2010 and has won five of 20 career starts (including three graded stakes races), accumulating more than $1 million in career earnings.

Magic Carpet Burns

The Australian mare “Magic Carpet Burns” was aptly named, as it caused quite a stir among racing commentators. Interestingly enough, the father of “Magic Carpet Burns” was called “Foreplay.”

Horsey McHorseface

After a public poll, the American thoroughbred was named after a UK ship called Boaty McBoatface.

Stopchargingmaria / Stopshoppingmaria / Stopspendingmaria

In 2007, Mike Repole made his fortune when Coca-Cola bought Glaceau for $4.1 billion. After that, however, Repole’s wife’s excessive spending bothered him. 

Repole cited several horses in this manner; with some of them may have run quite well, Stopchargingmaria won more than $3 million in her career, including a 2015 win in the Breeders’ Cup Distaff.

Leading By A Length

This 1970s British runner had a name that sounded like they should win, but they hardly ever did. Can you imagine the difficulties commentators had while calling their races…

Potoooooooo

This 18th-century horse acquired his unusual name through a mix-up or mischief. The stable boy was instructed to inscribe the horse’s name—Potatoes—on his stall door (or feed bin, depending on the story). Dutifully, he composed “Pot” and then “8 o’s.” The owner liked the moniker so much that the horse was registered under it.

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Other Legal Racehorse names

We have done our best to scour the internet and books to find all the funny horse names that we thought you would be interested in.

You will find many other funny and sometimes naughty racehorse names that made it past the review process.

  • Barely Legal
  • Bodacious Tatas
  • Dirty Sanchez
  • Eighteencharacters
  • Foalovit
  • Foxy Fanny
  • Fuchu
  • Geespot
  • Junkinthetrunk
  • Little Knickers
  • Lostma Cowboy
  • Muff Diver
  • Nosupeforyou
  • Odor in the Court
  • Passing Wind
  • Peony’s Envy
  • Red Hot Filly Pepper
  • Riding Miss Daisy
  • Slippery Dick
  • Sofa Can Fast
  • Sotally Tober
  • Spineless Jellyfish
  • That’s Whatshesaid
  • Walk of Shame
  • Wear The Fox Hat
  • Whatamichoppedliver
  • Where’s the Beef
  • Who Gives A Donald
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Banned Racehorse names

For obvious reasons, some racehorse naming attempts have been blocked. However, below, you will find some clear attempts to sneak in a dirty phrase that never made it to the starting gates.

  • Amanda Mount
  • Anita B Jaynow
  • Anita B Lojob
  • Anita Bath
  • Anita Blackman
  • Anita Dick
  • Anita Dickinme
  • Anita Hanjaab
  • Anita Hardcock
  • Anita Hoare
  • Anita Mandelay
  • Anita Longerman
  • Anita Pussy
  • Anna Bortion
  • Anna Reksik
  • Annie Position
  • Annie Rection
  • Are Soles to You
  • Arfur Foulkesaycke
  • Ben Derhover
  • Ben Jackinoff
  • Ben N Syder
  • Ben Timover
  • Betty Phuckzer
  • Betty Swallocks
  • Chit Hot
  • Chocolate Starfish
  • Choke the Chicken
  • Cockney Wanker
  • Cunnilingus
  • Cunning Stunt
  • Cupid Stunt
  • Curl One Off
  • Curley Pubes
  • Dick Bush
  • Dick Cheese
  • Dick Cumming
  • Dick Cumoff
  • Dick Face
  • Dick Fizintite
  • Dick Gozinya
  • Dick Hertz
  • Dick Hungwell
  • Dick Lipps
  • Dick N Cider
  • Harry Azzol
  • Harry Balls
  • Harry Balzitch
  • Harry Monk
  • Harry Scrote
  • Hucking Fell
  • Hugh G Dildeaux
  • Hugh G Rection
  • Hugh Gass Kisser
  • Hugh Gorgy
  • Hugh Janus
  • Ima Hoare
  • Ima Homeau
  • Ima Goodlay
  • Ima P Ness
  • Ima Rapist
  • Ima Reillycumming
  • Ivanna Humpalot
  • Ivanna Threesome
  • Ivanna Tinkle
  • Jack Inoff
  • Jack Me Off
  • Jack Schitt
  • Major B Oner
  • Neil Anblomee
  • Neil Enlick
  • Neil Ensuck
  • Norfolk Enchants
  • Ohowie Dickter
  • OilBeefHooked
  • Pee Nesenvy
  • Pee Ness
  • Spank The Monkey
  • The Fokker
  • The Gobbler
  • Willie Be Hardigan
  • Willie Fisterbottom
Ben H
Ben Harris is the Communications Manager for KRUZEY, an AFL and NRL expert, and writer. He has one daughter that he loves dearly and five... [Read full bio]

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